I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
