Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am naked and annoyed.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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