on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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