:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
