He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How does it feel to date your dad?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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