He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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