I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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