This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He passed out mid-signature
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
