you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wanna go halves on a baby?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
