Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think my tv is drunk
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
