she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
