Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
