Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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