How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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