We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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