I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
