Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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