he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
