So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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