We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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