Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
