i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
