I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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