Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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