This is not my ceiling
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
