Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
