GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
