two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
