It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm like, not good at living.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
