Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
