I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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