at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
