I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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