would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
