Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
