he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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