whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
