Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
