My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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