Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
