i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
