Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
