you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
