There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
