I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
