i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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