Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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