I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
