Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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