i think my tv is drunk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
