You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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