You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
